Everybody moves on

Everyone moves on at some point. And everyone leaves something behind while they move on, or in a nicer way, temporarily leaving it aside. Like moving on to your main course while picking up your appetiser once in awhile just cos its still there. I too, am guilty of one who “moves on”.

Moving on to army, being attached, work, overseas/local school, hobby, having a family. Every “new” phase of your life, trails of your past gets further away. You can come back to visit it once in awhile. But it can only get as good as what your memory holds.

While yes you can still make time once in awhile for each other; friends; family.. you have the exception of the less prioritised. And I feel like the less prioritised most of the time. I feel like I’m left behind only to bring lesser and lesser into the ‘next’.

Vicious cycle it may be, but its essential; otherwise you’d get nowhere. No one can hold on to anything for life. You can’t have everything go your way as much as it may be much more appealing.

Be thankful and glad for the now, seize today, seize the times, cos when you pass the now into a past, you might not even remember what it was. And even not get back there.

Don’t get me in your games. I’m not a chess piece.

Tone & Topic

Tone and topic affects how people react to your comments and opinions.

It does not mean you can say something hurtful in the nicest tone with flowers and candies and it would make it all better.

It works hand in hand. Don’t fucking bullshit me.

What kind of a dream is a dream you shouldn’t be dreaming but you know you enjoyed it. Good dream? Or bad dream? Hmmm..

To-Do List:

> Set up my online Osis+ Matifying powder thread/blog sale
> Get a new hair cut.. short!
> Get my taylored suit
> Clear up my room to refurnish
> Get plans up for my new room!
> Start working out / go for runs!

Answer booklet anyone?

I feel lost. How should I feel about myself, school, work, people.. about everything. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how I’m feeling. I need to find myself again. I have jumbled passions. I have clashing interests. I have wants in life that contradicts each other. 

If only I had all the answers.

I just don’t understand people like you.

There’s this team mate of mine who thinks he has done something impressive for the project but if you honestly ask me for my opinions its a fucking slip-shot sloppy-ass 12 y/o kid’s work. I mean come on you expect our supervisor to be impressed by your lame webpage transitions and flash buttons? Its so, freaking, fugly!

Thing that sparked this foolishness of you into my personal irritation was the way you present yourself to our supervisor when we were showing him our team’s work. Whenever you reach an animated page done by yourself you stop and hover your cursor over it to let the animation play its 1 second movement, then turn to look at the supervisor like you honestly think he’s gonna go,”woahhh”. What are you thinking? I’m just wondering why are you so proud of such a work I would be embarrassed to present.

Then again I have to just shut my mouth because I know I’m not going to put in my brains to do anything because I’m just too tired over the two years; obviously I’m not fit for IT. If I had the strength back in year 1 I’d take control of all your work and probably work my brains off just to do something at least up to expectations if I can’t impress.

Ahhh, ranting always makes me feel better. :D

NS is a bitch. Distorted my whole education. I could have been ORD by now with an advanced diploma. But here I am, after making a bad bad decision, stuck in nyp with no option to leave and risking to retake my fyp. If I do, I’d be entering NS late. Prolly ORD at the age of 23. Get my degree by 26 and what next.

I’m stuck in nyp because I can’t bear to disappoint my parents. I’ve already cause them to lose 1k++ when I withdrew from my advanced diploma course @ MDIS. But a new laptop because of nyp. And I’m risking to retake my 3 months fyp because I’m drained out of energy to force myself to do something I hate, programming. On top of that I’ve already completed 2 years. Quitting now is just stupid.

If only I were a girl with no monthly shit flowing out of my ‘down there’ and introducing my offspring to this world by a spectecular entrance by ripping my ‘down there’ apart. I’d have all the time I need to pursue my education and if all else fails I can fall back onto the hopes of marrying a rich guy. Am I the only one worrying this much for my future? I don’t know. But I’m curious to know what I’ll be doing in the future.

What kind of life are we leading to live; if we work for the sake of money and hate the job. I’m talking specifically in future, if I ever do get a job that I don’t really like. Will I continue or even get into that 9 - 5 mundane job if I’m not enjoying it? I’m thinking if the pay is rewarding on each payday I most prolly strive on and get used to it. But what if the reap isn’t worth?

Will it be worth doing what I’m interested in or will it be worth doing what reaps the most. I still can’t put my finger on any at the moment. I sure hope to be doing what I like and at the same time brings home the moolah.

My classmate just said that people who sleep very little will die early. And people who sleep too much will also die early. The desirable sleeping time is from 6 - 8 hours.

I sleep little and on some days just a couple of hours. And on days where I get to sleep in I sleep 12 hours or more. In addition to that I smoke a hell lot. I’m so gonna die early. Fuck.

$$$

Ok so I passed on last week’s Fridaynightlife so I can ask my dad for money this week and not feel bad because I know he’ll give me even if he is tight for his own night life; wouldn’t wanna miss Steve Aoki @ Zouk. “No money don’t drink don’t smoke!” some may say.. Like father like son I guess, die die must night life. $$$!! 

Batam trip next weekend! Can’t wait. Many wants but then again $$ constrains. Don’t wanna be brooding over how much I want more moolah; there are many out there who are satisfied for just 3 or even 2 meals a day and a simple life. I smoke, I want my Friday night now and then, not every week ideally, and though I don’t splurge (cus firstly I don’t have the ability to) I still run out of cash before the week even ends. I’m thinking if I’m spending like this now, I better find a good job or earn enough in future for my habits and wants. 

Ran 3 rounds @ Serangoon stadium today and I almost died trying to catch my breath. I hope to at least complete a 2.4km, then I can work on my timing for at least a Silver! I feel like a healthy boy, for about 2 hours after exercising. After that I just go back to lazing around for like a week? 

And I want to at least get a much more humane timing to sleep cus sleeping at 4 - 5am everyday (sometimes even 6) and waking up at 7.30 is just crazy. I don’t even know how I survive the day at times even though I have like random 1/2 hour - 1 hour naps in school @ my desk. I feel like I’m 20 but own a body of a 30 year old. My eye bags have to go! 

* End of rant.. :p

Here’s the thing about asking people for favours. The answer/reply is going to be a yes, no or maybe we’ll see how it goes. If it is a no and you get angry then you might as well not ask, demand it.